Reflections on Boston

I'm sitting here amongst boxes of my former life in Boston. My roommate of three years has just hugged me goodbye. Its one of those moments that I'm trying to gather all these emotions that cannot be adequately expressed in words. Today was our day together - last day as roommates hanging out. Instead of it being this somewhat reflective day of long meaningful talks we ended up going shopping together. Falling into our usual routine, just like any other day. I think its a bit too painful for me to comprehend that tomorrow I am packing my life up in a uhaul to move. This chapter of my life is over. I feel like this is the case for many of my friends. Following college graduation - we are forced to recognize that we are adults. The thing we have been striving toward for the last few years is finally here. Its scary, real, and at the same time exciting. I am reminded of this similar feeling when I left for college. The feeling of anticipation, excitement, and pure nerves. The worry that I would never be able to find anything as good as my life at home...five years later I am finding it hard to leave once again. Knowing this comforts me slightly as I remember that five years ago I felt the same dread/anticipation at the thought of Boston.

I know the exact moment when I will start to feel this for real. Its going to be when I arrive in Chicago and I am face with my first full night/day alone. When the full weight of what I have decided to take on hits me and I realize that for once in my life I have decided to take a risk. As with any risk there is the loom of failure in the back of my mind (I believe a life of hibernation and the word hermit were used...). Leaving Boston is like leaving a comfortable bubble for me. Full of friends, easily found opportunities, areas I know...I feel like if I don't take a risk now I never will. Faced with the possibilities of having either tried and failed, or staying in comfort I choose the former.

I don't know how this new part of my life will turn out, but I do know this... I will never forget the people or the times I've had here in Boston. Boston has my heart. I am sure I will grow to love my newly adopted city, but it will never replace anything I have had here in Boston. So it is with an open mind and heart that I leave this city (my first true love) to embark on another adventure.